I grew up in a strong LDS family. I originally wrote this experience from that point of view and if you are LDS, I strongly suggest that you read that version of the experience. (LDS Version)
While serving a mission, I had an experience that convinced me that I didn’t actually understand God which was an utter shock to me, because in my church, God was a “Who” and not a “What” which made Him very easy to understand. However, now I had very strong reason to consider that not only did I not who God was, but that God was a “What” and not a “Who”.
My companion and I were walking across a grass/weed field as I was pondering the question, “What is God?” Unexpectedly, and without warning, I shot straight up in the air, looking down at my companion and I walking in the field. I was moving so fast that it appeared we were frozen in place, walking in the field. I went up through the sky until I could see the entire earth, then proceeded at faster than light speed to fly out of our solar system, then moving even faster as I flew out of our galaxy. I could see the planets, moons and stars as I flew past them.
When I left our galaxy, I could see countless other galaxies each was a different distance away and I was moving faster than the speed of light past them. I passed galaxy after galaxy and was awed by how many there were. They were countless.
Eventually, I came to an area of space that was strangely empty, dark and void. There were no galaxies in the void and nothing near me to see. I turned around and saw the countless galaxies behind me getting further and further away. It was as if there were an invisible wall holding the galaxies back so that they did not pass into the void.
As I got further away, the galaxies got smaller and smaller until they each looked like dots of light. Every direction I looked, up, down, left and right I could see these dots of light held back from the void by this invisible wall. As I continued to move further out, the dots of light and the space between the dots got smaller and smaller so that it appeared like the dots were moving closer and closer together.
All at once, I was amazed to see that as the dots came together so that I could no longer see space between them, they formed into a colossal man and I had come out of his left arm near the shoulder. I was standing in the air several feet from the man. I looked around from my new view point and saw that the man was standing near a counter in what looked like a kitchen inside a house. I could see doors ways, in the walls and noticed that he was standing on a decorated floor.
I turned around and saw that there were several other individuals the same size as the man from whose arm I had emerged. They were standing around talking, as if they were at a small party. I became aware that they were standing on a massive planet and that if I were to go outside, I would see plants and animals and a sky full of stars.
At this moment, the spirit said to me, “I could take you up again and again and you would never find the end of matter and space where God did not exist.” I understood that the spirit was saying that God filled this massive world and that if I followed the same path up through the stars of this massive world and into the void beyond the stars, again and again I could spend my entire life looking and never find a place where God did not exist.
Immediately after receiving and comprehending this message, I shot back toward the man’s left shoulder at lightening speed, watching as the image once again separated into tiny dots of light that separated from each other the closer I got. I flew out of the void back through the invisible wall into the dense space filled with countless galaxies exactly opposite way I had come. I flew past the countless galaxies back into our own galaxy and straight back toward the earth. I came down through the sky and saw myself closing in on the field where my companion and I were walking.
I fully expected to return to myself and was surprised to see that instead of stopping at my own body, I went into it much like I went into the arm of the giant man, accept that I entered myself from above. My perspective shrank so that I could see that I flew into a cell, into a cell organ and still further down until I could see the molecules and atoms making up the cell organ. I flew through these atoms much like I had the stars until I came to a specific atom which I entered like a solar system. I flew into the atom toward an electron which was circling the atom like a planet circles a star. I continued down onto the electron at which point I became aware of strange and unfamiliar creatures living on the electron as if it were their planet. I was aware that there were different types of life coexisting on that electron. As I observed this scene and attempted to comprehend it, the spirit spoke to me saying, “I could take you down further and further and you would never find the beginning where God does not exist.” I understood that no matter how small I became or where I looked in that infinitely tiny level, I could not find a place where God did not exist.
As soon as I was able to comprehend and recognize the message, I found myself next to my companion back in the field walking toward our next appointment. The entire visions happened in less time than it took to complete a single step at our fast pace. I only knew it was a vision because my companion had no awareness of where I had been, and I had seen myself walking in the field next to him. I was so present in the vision that I had lost all awareness of my physical reality and senses and thought I was actually flying through space.
I was so excited that I began to jump up and down shouting, “I get it! I get it! Oh my gosh, I get it!”
My companion had no idea of the amazing experience I just had or why I would be so excited. I didn’t feel inclined to tell him about my experience and we continued walking while I contemplated everything I had just seen and heard.
Interpreting the Vision
At this point, I was not aware of any of the many scripture references that describe this “God” I saw in the vision. Without the vision, I could not have understood these references and so would not have comprehended what they were saying about God. So, before we look at the scriptures, let’s first make sure that we discuss and understand the meaning of the vision.
This vision, like all visions and Spirit Field experiences, was symbolic. I didn’t realize this at first and for a time I thought that the vision was intending to tell me that we live somewhere in the left shoulder of some colossal sized man. I was trying to interpret the symbols of my vision literally.
Visions are given in symbolic imagery, and that imagery is specific to the understanding of the person having the vision. These symbols are used to communicate meaning that cannot be easily understood or explained otherwise. For example, if I actually saw the shape of our universe which is created from countless galaxies, I would not have recognized it as a living thing or an intelligent creation/organization of God. Because it is organized into something that I could not comprehend, I was given a symbol that I could comprehend and understand so that the important points of the message could be communicated to me.
The vision was given to answer my question, “What is God?” Everything in the vision was aimed at helping me to understand the answer to this question. The answer was both profoundly deep and yet simple and obvious.
We tend to look at the world from our own point of view, rarely considering other points of view especially those viewpoints that are farther removed from ours. What I saw was level upon level of organization and every level of organization recognized and worshiped the same God/Source.
Everything I saw in the vision was God. He was in and through all things. All things were made of God and by God and I could not ascend high enough to find the end of God where God did not exist. Nor could I descend low enough to find the beginning of God where God did not exist. God was in all and through all things from the smallest to the greatest such that to look upon the earth, sun, moon or stars or to see even the smallest part of these things was to literally see God/Source. As I began to understand the meaning of the vision, I realized that the vision revealed to me profound truths about God’s nature. Truths that I had not previously been taught nor believed as a lifelong member of the LDS church. Yet more amazing, as I studied the scriptures, I found that these truths about what God is were found everywhere throughout the entire cannon of scripture.
Since I am familiar with the Bible, I’ll share scriptures to attempt to explain this God/Source I saw in vision.
Ephesians 4
6 One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.Malachi 2
10 Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us?John 4
21 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.
22 Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews.
23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.
24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.Jeremiah 23
24 Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD (Jehovah). Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD (Jehovah).1 Kings 8
27 But will God, (Elohim), indeed dwell on the earth? behold, the heaven and heaven of heavens cannot contain thee; how much less this house that I have builded?Job 11
7 Canst thou by searching find out God? canst thou find out the Almighty unto perfection?
8 It is as high as heaven; what canst thou do? deeper than hell; what canst thou know?
9 The measure thereof is longer than the earth, and broader than the sea.
10 If he cut off, and shut up, or gather together, then who can hinder him?Acts 17
27 That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:
28 For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.1 Corinthians 8
6 But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him.Romans 11
36 For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever
God Calls Himself “I Am That I Am”
When Moses asked God His name, God responded with what at first appears to be a cryptic answer:
Exodus 3
14 And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.
The phrase “I AM THAT I AM” is translated from the Hebrew words, “hāyâ ‘ăšer hāyâ”. These were God’s own words used to describe Himself. Here are the definitions of these words.
hāyâ = To be, to exist, be in existence
‘ăšer = all that, that which
hāyâ = To be, to exist, be in existence
Thus, God was literally declaring:
- I Am that which Is
- I Am all that Exists
This is a profound declaration from God regarding His own nature. God is not simply declaring that He exists, rather He is declaring that He is existence itself, and that nothing exists accept that which is by Him, through Him and of Him. This matches up exactly with my own vision of God and the scriptures already provided.
Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) 43 (Apocrypha)
27 We could say more but could never say enough; let the final word be: ‘He is the all.‘The Secret Book of John (The Gnostic Texts)
It is not appropriate to think of the Father in terms of…place. For the Father is the one who encompasses all things while nothing encompasses the Father… The Father exists within them all and outside them all.
Jesus explained this directly too,
John 14
10 Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.
11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works’ sake.